Wheres my money

Published on July 28, 2010 | in Funny Shit | 0 Comments

So I was just thinking about those people who you lend money to and then suddenly they don’t want to come out, they make excuses constantly about why they can’t pay you back yet.

Those kind of people really irritate me because if you loan something you expect to get it back, it really does anger me kinda makes me want to punch them all in the face a lot. On a side note I went to Butlins with my girlfriend for her brothers birthday which was quite fun we went in the arcades and played some games.

Then we had something to eat, I opted for the full English breakfast with a pint, we then went swimming which was fun, me and Emily spent about 2 hours looking around trying to find each other because we got separated before we went in.

Playing Runescape

Published on July 27, 2010 | in Normal Shit | 0 Comments

So I have just got back into Runescape which is an online MMORPG game which a lot of 12 year olds tend to play, I have been stealing accounts, botting, you name it I have been doing it and it’s starting to annoy me again like it did when I was 14 and quit the dumb game.

I should be sleeping right now but instead I stayed up botting all night so now I have to go to Butlins with my girlfriend with no sleep so that should be fun, I suppose the water will wake me up.

Not much been going on other than that, Got a ton of bills to pay but oh well!

Where’s Waldo/Katy

Published on July 23, 2010 | in Drunken Shit | 1 Comment

So tonight was very very eventful and I suggest you take a few moments to read this post as this is one of the many hilarious events that happen in my day-to-day life. So to start off there was Me, Tommy, Joski, Mike, Sam, Taylor, Gaz, Katy all having a quiet drink and messing around as usual then Joski started going off moaning because Tommy was touching Katy’s boobs.

Tommy then left to go home and Joski came back to the group after walking off in disrepair, we then had a joke around and quickly got cold then Joski and Katy started having drama which Katy ended up in tears over so she walked off with him about 1000 meters away from us on the golf course and after about an hour I got a call from Joski saying Katy was laying on his chest then she passed out cold.

So we all ran/rode over to see if she was okay and it was as he said she was out cold and was not responding to being pinched or anything of the sort, so we put her in the recovery position and called an ambulance at this point I am thinking Jesus fucking Christ she has only drunk about half a bottle of wine.

So I went through regular protocol while Gaz was being annoying and then rode to meet the ambulance and came back, she was still not responding so they took her blood to check sugar level I believe which displayed as 6.0 or something around that figure. Then Gaz starting whispering in her ear saying get up and stuff like that which I quickly responded to by saying Gaz you’re not a horse whisperer which made everyone laugh including the paramedics.

They then sat her up and she sprung to her feet and started stumbling away coughing as she did so with most of us following her including the paramedics trying to get her to stop and she then broke into a full on run and disappeared from 9 people in a huge field/wood area, the police then turned up and tried looking for her and failed so we set off home and ended up on the nearest road where the police then came and found us and said that Taylor had to be taken home due to her age which Gaz her boyfriend did not take a liking to at all and started trying to stop the two police officers.

One of the police officers soon grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against their patrol car warning him that if he continues he will be arrested, at which point he kept repeating himself saying can’t I just take her home and stuff like that along with swearing at the police officers. Meanwhile Katy is still missing and I am being a comedian as usual and saying Where’s Waldo and shit like that, the police van then arrives and takes Taylor home and then the patrol car and the van leave.

Shortly after they get 800 meters up the road Gaz seems to think he can run faster than a van and a patrol car and gives chase to them both, he stops after 20 meters of running and sits on the curb we then turn around and go talk to him and take the piss out of him like we were doing all night anyway because to be frank he is a cunt.

We then decided to leave and started walking home leaving Gaz on the curb and we ran into Katy who had ran off earlier down the road which he saw and came running back we then just chilled at a spot where Gaz sat down and cried against a wall I then put out my sly comments again and said well it appears Madeline Mcann has won this round of hide and seek which made everyone laugh.

We then said we were walking Katy home and told Gaz the way to where he lived, which was about 9 miles away from where he was actually trying to get to, I would imagine as I am writing this he is approaching Bedhampton which is about 6 miles away from his house.

Joski & Sam left us at that point so it was just Me, Mike and Katy and Mike and Katy decided they are going to camp out tonight because if Katy goes home she is going to get in deep shit. So they came to my place with me where Mikes camping equipment resides and left I then grabbed a crate of 15 Fosters, Strawberry Milkshake, and 4 Ham Rolls and returned to my masturbation station to write this article.

Taylor who was taken home earlier is in the process of jumping out her window to go camp with Mike and Katy and I said that I may join them in an hour or two if I am feeling bored. So overall it was a pretty fucking crazy night so far and the funniest part is it has not ended yet but it appears like Gaz and Taylor wont be seeing each other anymore after Me, Mike, Joski, Katy and Sam sent him 8 miles away from where he wanted to go.

I missed quite a lot out but purely because it was problems with my closer friends which I do not wish to post on my personal blog, but yeah if anything interesting happens I will be sure to update this post in a few hours.

BrokeNCYDE Arrested

Published on July 20, 2010 | in Drug Shit | 5 Comments

The Crunkcore band BrokeNCYDE are facing serious drug, rape, and child pornography charges after being arrested in New Mexico while on tour.

According to livethescene the FBI are begining an investigation on the band identified as BrokeNCYDE, They were pulled over by a patrolman at approximately 8AM central time after the vehicle they were traveling in hit radar trackers traveling at 70 MPH, 15 over the posted speed limit of 55.

“Upon entering the vehicle, the patrolman immediately smelled marijuana, and smoke was apparently visible in the cabin.” said a commanding officer today who then stated “A member of the band was with a female passenger, later discovered to be at the age of 14.” the girl, band, and six other occupants including a sound technician and body guard were arrested at the scene and transported to the city jail.

According to police reports, there was no formal Van driver at the scene and items in the vehicle included various drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, and LSD. A laptop was also found containing hundreds of pictures displaying the members of the band engaging in sexual activities with who authorities assume are women under the age of 18.

The FBI began speaking with the individuals found on the Van, along with roughly two dozen others, including a fourth band mate who was not with the other members at the time.

It appears it was all a hoax and my favorite band was not arrested see below for proof from the promoter of BC13 Curtis…

Dangerous dog walker

Published on July 16, 2010 | in Funny Shit | 0 Comments

So myself, Mike, Tommy, Sam, Katy, and Taylor were all out drinking in a field and after we got a little tipsy we started remarking upon some guys daughter it appears and he came over with a dog chain swinging it around like Ghost Rider, I thought he was going to fire a flame ball at Tommy and the funny thing is Tommy is the only one who didn’t say anything.

While this guy was coming over looking very angry Tommy was sifting through his bag to locate his knuckle duster to floor this prick if he took a shot at Tommy, while Tommy is backing away from this crazed Ghost Rider fan I was repeatedly saying ” just go away man… ” + ” put the chain down man ” and stuff like that.

It was pretty funny because we never get attacked by old guys so it was quite the experience, although I think we caught him on his period because as he walked over he looked pissed. The night continued after that and Tommy kept touching up Sam making him feel really uncomfortable which evidently caused him to leave because he is homophobic.

Amor Hilton sex tape

Published on July 14, 2010 | in Funny Shit | 1 Comment

I have just seen the Amor Hilton aka Molly Morrison sex tape captured by BackCouchCasting which is a porn site whom exploit and manipulate woman into thinking they are about to get into a nice porn career when really they are just giving away free content (aka themselves).

You can find this video here, and you can find the call to the modeling agency where Amor is abusing them, crying, threatening and moaning about all her 14 year old fans here.

Amor is extremely hot and I would cut my right testicle off to have the opportunity which this guy filming the video had, however she does have some kind of genital wart on her vagjj which should probably be looked at by a Doctor aha. She also talked shit to me on Myspace so I decided to add a screen shot of the comment she left on my profile here.

The war on weed

Published on July 14, 2010 | in Drug Shit | 1 Comment

I have been watching a lot of documentaries on certain drugs in the past week and the one that has stood out the most is the one about Marijuana or Weed. I don’t understand what the government is doing I have done a lot of research on Marijuana or Weed and there are no recorded deaths caused by it.

In order to overdose on it you would have to smoke about 500 joints, the government could make billions if they were to legalize it and tax it. Not to mention that if it were legalized and taxed there would be less people smuggling it into countries because paying a small tax is much easier than losing shipments of their product.

I have personally smoked Weed and it has no real negative effects, perhaps it makes you dumb, slow and paranoid but those effects are only temporary and it has no real effects that can be called negative. I believe the only reason it was made illegal is because so many people started enjoying it.

Look at the psychedelic properties of Salvia in comparison to Marijuana or Weed, Salvia’s effects cause hallucinations beyond imagination and make it seem real. Weed doesn’t do anything of the sorts and yet it is illegal while Salvia is legal.

I know the government must have certain rules and blah blah blah but my two cents is that we are all individuals whom can make our own decisions for our own good or not we should be able to do as we please within good reason because our life is being restricted by a bunch of toffee nosed bastards.

If anything Tobacco should be illegal, Tobacco kills 500,000 people every year while Marijuana kills 0. There is absolutely no reason why it should be illegal because it is merely a plant which people like to smoke when depressed, or to make shitty movies better, or to just generally bring joy into their life when it is absent.

And Marijuana itself has no addictive properties, I smoked it daily for about 14 months then just stopped dead with no problems at all. Marijuana should be legalized as a recreational drug within the UK and USA because it is simply not harmless and it’s great fun for everyone.

If only someone would start a huge petition to legalize this drug and confront the government with said statistics, I believe that would get this recreational drug legalized. Even I am tempted to do this not because I enjoy smoking Marijuana or Weed tons but because it’s costing the UK and USA tax payer millions and possibly billions per year hunting down and arresting distributors, dealers, growers, users and so on.

I’m interested to know everyone’s opinion on Marijuana so feel free to leave a comment below and don’t forget to share it on your social networking sites etc too below let’s see what we can get done here because if I believe lots and lots of people wish to see me try and get this legalized I would be willing to put in the time and effort required to research all the information I would need and get people involved.

The arrest outcome

Published on July 13, 2010 | in Police Shit | 0 Comments

So in my last post I wrote about how I got arrested and then street bailed, I arrived at the police station and pressed the buzzer for the custody center and said ” Hi I was street bailed on Friday night for… ” then before I could say the custody Sargent butted in and said ” for shooting rabbits. ” and I agreed and was let in.

They did all the normal stuff and I had a good laugh with the custody Sargent and the officer who arrested me, On showing up there I was also arrested under the night poaching act and Mike also got arrested for possession of a firearm in a public place, along with night poaching.

We were interviewed and all the usual stuff, and I was let go without charge because I am 18 and was eligible for an adult caution for the three offenses I was arrested for, however Mike was not so lucky and he got charged with possession of a firearm in a public place along with night poaching which he must appear in court for on the 20th which I shall be accompanying him to.

The rifle and knife have not yet been returned to me and I must contact the officer whom arrested me in order to find out if I can have it back tomorrow. Something I failed to include in my previous post too is that after I got arrested and street bailed we ran into 2 drunk girls and 1 drunk guy (Taylor, Katy and Gaz).

We stayed with them for the rest of the night talking about girls periods and other random stuff, it was a good laugh. Would have been better if we had more alcohol but we didn’t so I guess tough luck. I’ll make a post soon to let you all know how Mikes trial goes etc.

I got arrested

Published on July 10, 2010 | in Police Shit | 0 Comments

Last night Me, Mike and Sam went camping/hunting in the usual spot and had a few beers, then there was some weird plane flying above us that kept flying around in circles, Mike suggested that it was a police plane but I was like why would a police plane be flying above us in circles.

So he went off with the air rifle to hunt our dinner and got one Rabbit and I brought it back to camp and started to gut and skin it ready to cook on a fire, and I turn around to see where Mike is and he is walking back with 2 police officers, It turns out a member of the public called the cops on us.

I got arrested for possession of an offensive weapon (fillet knife) and the firearms misuse act (the air rifle), then he street bailed me for his own benefit because he did not want to be tied up all night in custody with myself. In UK possession of a knife is a serious crime but as we were camping and it was clear why I had the knife I should not get much for it all I can do is hope this doesn’t end up in court because I don’t believe what I did was a crime.

I mean come on is it really that bad, we were in the middle of a field at 11PM at night enjoying ourselves not being a threat to the public, the police officer claimed it was a public place and people walk their dogs there and I said correct but not at night we come here very often and we have never seen someone walk their dog here gone past 10PM.

So tomorrow I have to go down to the local police station and hand myself in and I’ll find out then after I have given a statement if I will be charged for the matter in question, but I believe that it would be wrongful to prosecute me for such a thing when we were merely only trying to have some safe fun.

Drake Music Festival

Published on July 4, 2010 | in Drunken Shit | 0 Comments

So I went to The Drake Music Festival with my big sis Yasmin and Mike, it was a good laugh didn’t really drink much though because the pills I’m on I’m not supposed to drink with them so I only had 4 pints and called it quits.

I stretched my ear lobe with a glow stick which hurt but it was funny, 6 cop cars turned up and an ambulance because 2 woman were fighting which I thought was hilarious since the amount of cops mind you it was right next to the cop station so they were probably being nosey.