Haven’t been doing much lately but there has been a lot of drama, Did go bmxing with Tommy Tank in Southsea on Thursday night which was a laugh they were handing out glow sticks so we put them in our wheels and it looked pretty dope. We also met a new bmxer named Rob who has the same frame as Tommy Tank and ironically that’s how they met haha.

I’m still with Emily and think I will be for a long time to come, Got told by college I cannot progress onto level 3 IT so now I have to find another course to do perhaps Graphics or I’ve heard there is a CSI course at my college so I might try to get onto that too.

Only he found out shortly after I tightened them that I had lost the key a few days earlier so he walked down to the local cop shop while I ate my pizza at home and he got stopped by an undercover police officer who checked him out then let him go to get his cuffs off.

I arrived shortly after he got there and then was told they were ceasing the cuffs however I did tell Mike to wait until I was done eating but no he was not listening to me and decided to carry on without me hence why the cuffs were taken because they thought I put them on him without consent.

After asking the police officer if he was bullied as a child he said that’s original and drove off so we went back to mine put some beers in a bag and rode into town on our two bikes where we met a Scottish guy wearing a kilt he was a laugh, then we did a bit of riding around didn’t see much interesting stuff so we headed back.

On my road there was four chavs, one of which was on a bike who swove in front of us while we were riding on the road and asked us to stop, obviously he was trying to jack us so I told him to fuck off and carried on riding, he promptly came after us on his little mountain bike after pedaling rather fast in order to keep up with our 24t sprockets which give us a very big acceleration advantage against the chav and his probable stolen mountain bike.

Then his friend decided to run after us who shortly and abruptly stopped after 15 yards panting like the dog he is, the guy on the bike continued to ride after us saying stop you cunt, and regular chav vulgarity I responded by saying fuck off and the usual jargon. He then stopped chasing after us after about 450 yards down the road accepting that he was now alone and was out numbered not to mention we had padded gloves with rubber knuckles and two rather dangerous bikes.

He turned around to ride back to his buddies who had left him to ride after us alone, he said “I’ll break your fucking legs” I responded by saying “Yeah alright then BRUV!” and carried on riding towards my house which was less than 100 yards away I then spent 10 – 15 minutes trying to convince Mike to come back with me tooled up with my knuckle duster and a rather thick chain to teach those fuckers a lesson but by the time we had rode back and stuff they were long gone which was really unfortunate because I’d have liked to hurt that fucker.

I really do hate chavs and this is why, we were only riding home from a quiet night out and then some nigger, excuse me for being racist but in this case its absolutely necessary because I define a nigger as someone who is a low-life cunt who needs to feed their ego from starting on other people in this case the perons because those who they think are weaker.

But this chav little fucker obviously doesn’t know me or know my face from previous times where I was an absolute physco who would have fights with 1 person up to 20 at any given time all at once regardless of weather I get my ass kicked or not. I hate fighting I really do but I believe this little fucker that came riding after us was scared and was only showing off in front of his friends because as soon as he was separated from them at a distance he soon started to stop trying to catch us.

During which time he was abusing us and telling us to stop I had a black moment and was saying “Are you mad?”  and “Do you know who I am?” obviously because of how people knew my previously. I think I’ve seen the fucker around my area before but this is a sign that living in this town really is shit and I intend to talk my mum into moving us over 100 miles away up north or in any direction as soon as possible.

Mike also added in “That the little cunt should be beaten the fuck out of for doing it!”, Anyway that’s it for now and I hope this gives you some insight into life in the UK aka the Ghetto. But before I go let me tell you a joke that might make you laugh…

Why can’t chavs use Viagra?
Because they only get hard with 10 mates behind them.

Goodnight folks, much love!

Perhaps it was the fact my friend kept showing his penis to 200+ people, not sure but anyway I have sent them an email requesting that they unsuspend my account for wrongfully suspending it in the first place.

But if anyone could do me a big favor head over to www.justin.tv and click contact us on the bottom and request that www.justin.tv/ajah be unsuspended so I can broadcast again because a lot of people enjoyed my show and found it very entertaining which I would like to do in the future if I can get my account back etc.

For several reasons which are as follows…

My friend seems to have got it into his head that him and his girlfriend can have a baby which is already on the way at 17 while completely living off of the government. He has no qualifications, no job, and no education and he seems to think he can fish off of a pier to support his family.

This only offends me as a future tax payer, why should I pay for someone to live off of the land doing fuck all for the country, it really really angers me to watch him sit there and say that.

The girl situation isn’t helping, there is a girl I like a lot but there are doubts. She is amazing in every aspect and is completely unaware of it but she is quite far away I don’t know what to do.

On a side note 2 people in the same week have died from taking Mephedrone, or also known as MMCAT. My suspicions were as predicted this drug is fucking dangerous and will be banned any day now and then the trouble starts because people have kilo’s of this shit lying around.

Have not been going to college much and have a lot of work to catch up on, really waiting for my big break to make 10,000+ per month so I can quit college and focus on my life goal of being rich.

In terms of the living off of the government thing I spoke about before, I think anyone who lives off the government for more than 3 months should have all their benefits stopped dead. May be a little harsh but they are in control of themselves no one is making them be spongers their whole life.

And a behavioral note all people living off the government seem to all be drug users, pretty much 98% of them are and it just makes me fucking angry to know that money in the UK that could be used to stop crime and shit is being used on sponging bastards that have no intention of getting a job ever, note to all those who do it that are reading this now, get a fucking job and sort your fucking life out.

Oh and I also got a tattoo of a star on my left butt cheek, shit hurt.

In my town some prick called Dean Heard called up a 77 year old woman and posed as her grandson to get her to come out late in the night to a very bad area of Portsmouth here is the chat transcript on the phone:

Heard: Hello.
Mrs Blake: Is that Jamie?
Heard: Jamie, yeah this is.
Mrs Blake: What’s the matter then?
Heard: I’ve got a bit of a problem at the moment.
Mrs Blake: Have you darling? What is it?
Heard: Will you be able to lend me some money?
Mrs Blake: Course I will.
Heard: All right. Will you be able to meet me later?
Mrs Blake: Meet you tonight? What? It’s late now.
Heard: Yeah, I know, I am sorry but…
Mrs Blake: That’s all right. Where are you anyway?
Heard: I’m in Court Street. Can you come and meet me?
Mrs Blake: I don’t know sweetheart. I thought you’d come up to me, to my flat.
Heard: Umm, can we meet somewhere near?
Mrs Blake: What’s the matter then? Can’t you get to my flat?
Heard: Not really.
Mrs Blake: What’s the matter then? Tell me what the matter is ‘cos I shall only worry.
Heard: It’s a bit hard to explain at the moment. I’ve got myself in a bit of trouble.
Mrs Blake: I can’t darling, I can’t come out in the dark. The only thing I can do is ring for a taxi or something and come and meet you. Are you hurt?
Heard: Yes sort of.
Mrs Blake: Oh!
Heard: I’m round my friend’s house at the moment I think… (inaudible)
Mrs Blake: Yeah course I will

And when he snatched her bag he took the old lady down and she hit her head on the floor and cut her hands up, this fucking coward is one of many reasons why I hate chavs with a passion.

I would curb stomp this chav piece of shit if I saw him in the street as would several of my peers, my Mum is 65 and this could of been her and if it was this guy would have got more than 18 months he would have got severely beaten to death or near.

The sentence this prick got was 3 years but he will only serve 18 months if he has good behavior inside, I hope he gets raped. You can join the Facebook group related to this incident here, feel free to express your hate for this little fucker in a comment below or anyone alike.

But obviously nothing is free so I’ll go down to the local connections office and they will help me find a place, and find out what benefits we are entitled to. But this also means I will have to get a job if I quit college which would suck but I would rather have a job than having to put up with my mums bullshit all day every day.

And I will have to pay for my own internet, electric, water, gas, food, and other expenses. I would also have to buy a cooker, washing machine, fridge then there is spoons, forks, knives, plates, so much to buy but I’m convinced me and my friend can do it because there isn’t much I have been faced with that I couldn’t do when I wanted to, but I’m sure we shall see.

Then after 45 minutes or so I got them back and she would just not stop trying to get more or get the ones back I took off her and then my friend Luke tried helping her again and hit my scaffolding that I had done recently in my ear so I hit him a few times (not in the face) and said fuck this I’m leaving and I walked out and got 45% way home and realized she still had my keys so I went back and got my keys off her after she started asking why I was pissed off and that.

Eventually she gave in and gave me my keys back and I walked home and here I am, oh and on the way out of her front garden I hit a rather solid object a few times and my knuckles are bleeding right now and hurting a lot. She is exactly what I hate, when I tell someone to stop messing around with me I expect them to do exactly that exactly then but no not her, she has to carry on to the point where I snap and very nearly hit one of my closest friends and then almost put my hand through a car/house window.

The lesson to be learned here clearly is to get away from the person who has said characteristics I mean even after I came back she was winding me up again by asking me shit loads of questions and refusing to give me my keys until I did so. What the fuck is this world coming to I’m so fucking angry right now and in pain.

I mean come on Microsoft I have too much shit to re-install don’t take the piss Bill Gates or I will come kick your ass.

Anyone else experiencing this rather nasty message/popup?

I used to be an asshole and part of a rapidly growing nation of pricks within the Untied Kingdom also known as ” Chavs “. But I have always matured very fast at the age of 13 I had girlfriends aged 16-17 but putting that aside I stopped doing all that ego fueled bullshit such as starting a fight if another ” Chav ” looked at me for too long or swore at me.

Obviously because my change was over a year period some of my friends are still ” Chavs ” and don’t see the benefit of wearing skinny jeans and tight t-shirts and having long hair. In fact they think it’s gay, really gay and it really gets on my nerves because I don’t talk shit about what they wear even if in my opinion they look like fucking ass clowns.

Nor do they grasp the concept of girls being into a guy who wear skinny jeans, vans classics, tight bright colored t-shirts and long styled hair with a bit of vain in the mix. For some reason they seem to think that girls aren’t into me because of how I look now but in actual fact I have never got more attention from girls in my entire life than I have got in the past few months.

But then again it’s just another bullshit stereotype thrown upon by the majority young community ” Chavs ” that people who look like me are gay pussies. What the fuck is wrong with them for a start you cannot tell someone’s sexuality by the way they dress, that stereotype has been proven wrong on T.V (See Channel 4 for more info). They lined up 8 different guys who were all picked randomly from the street and 1 of them were gay and every single person they stopped to ask who they thought is gay were wrong, the person who they said looked the most butch or the ladys man was the gay guy.

And how the fuck does what you wear reflect on your strength, I dress in skinny jeans and tight t-shirts and care about my hair more than most girls do and I used to try and kick 7 guys asses for fun. Stereotypical bullshit really pisses me off and I’m sure there is a few of you reading this now who feel the same, anyway before I start getting too angry and gathering my lethal weapons together to rein act the holocaust but with Chavs instead of Jews leave a comment and tell me how you feel about stereotypes.

So let me tell you a little about chav culture, they often hang around in groups of 4+ like a pack of wolves, they speak some kind of bastard dialect developed by chavs with under developed brains, some words often used by chavs include…

innit (Isn’t it)
mush (Possibly an alternative for Mate?)
mug (Some kind of alternative for the word Idiot)
sweet (I believe this means Awesome)
fags (An alternative for the word Cigarettes)

Chavs are exceptionally easy to spot as they wear only some of the most expensive brands which they buy with the proceeds of crime such as Stone Island, Henry Lloyd, Fred Perry, Lacoste, and Nike. Chavs are not to be confused with the lesser-spotted-chav which is basically a trainee-chav who will evolve into a chav once he has mentally matured a couple of months from the age of 12-16 and has had an Anti-Social Behaviour Order (ASBO) for the period of 12 months.

The lesser-spotted-chav is even easier to spot than the normal chav as the lesser-spotted-chav wears a sports tracksuit with a rounded cap and in most cases a hoodie replaces the tracksuit jacket. Because of the chavs instinct you can guarantee you will find one in a council estates; run-down areas in good need of a decent fire bombing. The chav will return to these at night to sleep, but spends most of its time in the local shopping precinct abusing targeted individuals for absolutely no reason.

Fortunately for me I live in the county of Hampshire which is home to a surprisingly large amount of chavs, possibly due to the fact that Basingrad, the birthplace of Burberry clothing and chav culture is in Hampshire. Without a doubt Hampshire is the current world record holder for the most jobless cunts in one county.

Chavs drinking habits are quite fascinating, unlike their closest evolutionary ancestor, the Ape, fresh water is not required for the survival of a chav; indeed the feel of fresh water coming into contact with their skin will often aggravate them to no end. The lesser-spotted-chav will make do on Coca-Cola and other fizzy soft drinks, although they have been known on occasion to unsuccessfully attempt to purchase alcohol from an off-licence vendor.

The adult or 3 month mentally matured chav will usually be content with drinking a cheap, mass-produced lager. The female chav, in an effort to look sophisticated to a potential mate will usually drink Bacardi Breezers or a similar brand of alcopop, sadly this merely makes the female chav look more despicable to any other subspecies of the human race.

The mating rituals of the male chav have become a subject of fascination to scientists and spectators alike. Firstly, the chav will attempt to ‘pimp himself up’, by adorning himself with his most expensive Burberry hat, Stone Island shirt, and Ted Baker jeans. He will then decorate himself with either fake gold jewellery or hiz prized Elizabeth Duke chain known as ‘bling bling’. Female chavs share genetic traits with magpies (and varying farm yard animals) and are attracted to shiny objects. He will then smother his hair with hair gel, the reasoning being for this act is unknown. It does not have any aesthetic advantage, indeed quite the reverse. On observing the excessive amount of grease in the male chavs hair, will assume that he must be ‘loaded’ to use so much of a precious commodity and thus become more attracted to him owing to his falsely-perceived social status.

He will then proceed to a gathering spot such as the pub or bar and attempt to attract females by drinking, dancing, and trying to start fights which he will invariably lose. Females mating rituals differ though, when the reproductive urge is upon her (between the ages of 8-12) and she is in heat, the female chav will naturally look for a mate. Not a long term mate, but effectively a sperm donor. She will therefore ‘slag’ herself, this means putting on more make-up than a clown uses through his life, squeezing into a strapless top 2 sizes small for her and putting on a miniskirt that will best exhibit her pelvic regions without breaking any national laws.

She will then shower hserlf in cheap perfume, brush her hair tight to the back of her head and once fully attired will sort to a gathering spot. Upon finding a suitable mate she will ‘come on to him’, allow him to cop a feel and get a few free drinks off him before suggesting the alley behind the pub as a suitable place to consummate.

The female chav will repeat this ritual several times during the same night to ensure the maximum possibility of impregnation. It should be noted that female chavs do not consider having babies as a method of the continuation of their race, but view it as a competition between other females. The chavette who manages to successfully claim the most money off the Labour’s benefit system, will be entitled to higher social status than the ones who only managed to claim benefits for a paltry amount of five children.

Very few chavs have bothered to evolve into a stage where they are capable of undertaking paid work; the reasoning being that they are remarkably financially acute and have long since realised that the government will pay them to lie around at home. Subsequently, the chavs have an unbridled amount of free time on their hands. This will usually be spent by congregating at Home Depot in groups, or ‘crews’ as they are colloquially referred to, in an attempt to emulate African-American culture, despite the fact that they are white. As an effect of this, chavs will labour under the misapprehension that they are ‘gangsta’, as well as the bizarre notion that they are the ‘children of the ghetto’.

The natural enemy of the chav is the police officer or the ‘oh bill’ as the chavs colloquially use in reference to the British police force. Chavs are in effect a group of insane, nihilistic anarchists, and their society has not yet evolved sufficiently to understand the need for Law and Order. Hence, they find it physically impossible to accept that they have done anything wrong when they are dragged off to jail on a Saturday night for smashing a bottle in someone’s face. Scientists believe this might have been what civilisation was like on Earth 300,000 years ago, before intelligent life developed.

Another enemy of the chav is the foreigner; chavs are intensely jingoistic and when they go on holiday will only stay in British holiday resorts to prevent contact with any foreigners. Indeed, the chav can go to Spain and never be exposed to a single word of Spanish for the duration of their trip.

Chavs are, in fact, parasites, leeching off society to feed their lecherous habits and providing nothing but detriment in return. Therefore, a modest proposal for a practical solution is the immediate sterilisation of all chavs. We will keep a small colony for breeding; after all, we do need some in order to keep supermarkets going, although truth be told foreign imports are better, but the vast majority will be made infertile and allowed to die off. Those who remain will be sub-categorised into ‘slaves’, and will perform all menial tasks in return for a dingy council flat and basic feeding, two meals a day, at least one containing meat, or at least something described as such on the packet. In doing this we can not only purify humanity but also remove the need for unemployment benefit.

With no unemployment, crime rates will fall, cities will become Utopia’s, Atlas will shrug and humanity will evolve beyond its wildest dreams. There is also the theory that due to the lesser quality of their fake barberry, come the winter season the chavs will lack the necessary insulation and die. This theory however has not been tested, and the current guidelines for chav control involve the use of a high powered rifle.

So the point I am trying to make is that all chavs should be expunged effectively and immediately, comment this post with your thoughts about this matter.