Tommy then left to go home and Joski came back to the group after walking off in disrepair, we then had a joke around and quickly got cold then Joski and Katy started having drama which Katy ended up in tears over so she walked off with him about 1000 meters away from us on the golf course and after about an hour I got a call from Joski saying Katy was laying on his chest then she passed out cold.

So we all ran/rode over to see if she was okay and it was as he said she was out cold and was not responding to being pinched or anything of the sort, so we put her in the recovery position and called an ambulance at this point I am thinking Jesus fucking Christ she has only drunk about half a bottle of wine.

So I went through regular protocol while Gaz was being annoying and then rode to meet the ambulance and came back, she was still not responding so they took her blood to check sugar level I believe which displayed as 6.0 or something around that figure. Then Gaz starting whispering in her ear saying get up and stuff like that which I quickly responded to by saying Gaz you’re not a horse whisperer which made everyone laugh including the paramedics.

They then sat her up and she sprung to her feet and started stumbling away coughing as she did so with most of us following her including the paramedics trying to get her to stop and she then broke into a full on run and disappeared from 9 people in a huge field/wood area, the police then turned up and tried looking for her and failed so we set off home and ended up on the nearest road where the police then came and found us and said that Taylor had to be taken home due to her age which Gaz her boyfriend did not take a liking to at all and started trying to stop the two police officers.

One of the police officers soon grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against their patrol car warning him that if he continues he will be arrested, at which point he kept repeating himself saying can’t I just take her home and stuff like that along with swearing at the police officers. Meanwhile Katy is still missing and I am being a comedian as usual and saying Where’s Waldo and shit like that, the police van then arrives and takes Taylor home and then the patrol car and the van leave.

Shortly after they get 800 meters up the road Gaz seems to think he can run faster than a van and a patrol car and gives chase to them both, he stops after 20 meters of running and sits on the curb we then turn around and go talk to him and take the piss out of him like we were doing all night anyway because to be frank he is a cunt.

We then decided to leave and started walking home leaving Gaz on the curb and we ran into Katy who had ran off earlier down the road which he saw and came running back we then just chilled at a spot where Gaz sat down and cried against a wall I then put out my sly comments again and said well it appears Madeline Mcann has won this round of hide and seek which made everyone laugh.

We then said we were walking Katy home and told Gaz the way to where he lived, which was about 9 miles away from where he was actually trying to get to, I would imagine as I am writing this he is approaching Bedhampton which is about 6 miles away from his house.

Joski & Sam left us at that point so it was just Me, Mike and Katy and Mike and Katy decided they are going to camp out tonight because if Katy goes home she is going to get in deep shit. So they came to my place with me where Mikes camping equipment resides and left I then grabbed a crate of 15 Fosters, Strawberry Milkshake, and 4 Ham Rolls and returned to my masturbation station to write this article.

Taylor who was taken home earlier is in the process of jumping out her window to go camp with Mike and Katy and I said that I may join them in an hour or two if I am feeling bored. So overall it was a pretty fucking crazy night so far and the funniest part is it has not ended yet but it appears like Gaz and Taylor wont be seeing each other anymore after Me, Mike, Joski, Katy and Sam sent him 8 miles away from where he wanted to go.

I missed quite a lot out but purely because it was problems with my closer friends which I do not wish to post on my personal blog, but yeah if anything interesting happens I will be sure to update this post in a few hours.

I stretched my ear lobe with a glow stick which hurt but it was funny, 6 cop cars turned up and an ambulance because 2 woman were fighting which I thought was hilarious since the amount of cops mind you it was right next to the cop station so they were probably being nosey.

We then gave up looking for them and went back inside where the guy just bled everywhere and then he started trying to start fights with people inside the party so we threw him out and told him to go home because he was wasted and bleeding all over then outside he was shouting ” I’ll fight everyone here ” and this is at a house party with about 30 guys at so he would have got killed.

After that I got so drunk I could not walk in a straight line I kept getting ran over by parked cars and getting pushed into the various walls on the way to the pub where I got a taxi home from.

On a side note, I hate my fucking life.

In Havant all I did was hug my buds and drink large amounts of Sambuca I fell off my bike twice, the first time I just scratched my arm but the second time I full force face planted the floor with my chin it hurt a lot.

Now I don’t remember leaving Havant and it’s a 8 mile ride home I can’t remember getting in my place or anything so in a few hours I am going to call Mike who was with me so he can tell me how the fuck I rode 8 miles home, when I woke up earlier I couldn’t walk so I honestly have no idea how I got home.

I kinda feel like I’m in the movie The Hangover aha I’ve been calling everyone trying to find out what happened and what time I left Havant and stuff like that but it’s proving difficult.

Needless to say I wont be drinking for a while and now I have drunk like 2 liters of water, milk, 4 ham rolls, 1 muffin, and 3 yogurts in an attempt to rid of this terrible affliction, anyway I must get back to my food then sleep peace I will update this post when I find out the other facts.

But he is all good now and has made room for consumption of more alcoholic beverages so I’m out again to drink with this crazy bastard peace.

Once we got to mine I convinced Luke to come bmxing in Havant with 3 bmxers 2 of which I knew, we took the crate of beer and I took a bottle of Russian Standard which has an alcoholic percentage of 40%. We rode over 13 miles that night we got there and chilled in a skatepark for 20 minutes or so waiting for my friends to show up and a guy came over with no top on.

We got talking to him and his friend who were both rather drunnk then his friend suggested that the payment of 10 pounds would get us a night with his rather attractive girlfriend which we laughed at. Then my friends turned up and we left on our journey bmxing and drinking we hit a few street spots and I hit the floor quite a lot. We did find this creepy ass tunnel that me and Luke decided to crawl through which ended badly as I’m now covered in scrapes and scratches however we did finish all the beer and empty the bottle of vodka.

Towards the end of the night we found a bench and Luke layed on it and fell asleep so we could not resist but to attack him with boxes and take pictures which you can see below…

Luke also fell off my other bike and passed out in the grass which you can see pictures of below…

Don’t hit X yet I’m not done here are a couple of pictures of me on the floor after attempting to do tricks while being totally annihilated…

So after all of that shit I just wrote about we started to head home and on the way back I cut across Luke riding on the pavement and fell off my bike into a grassy/pebble area where because I had cut Luke’s path of riding up he shortly followed and we were both on the floor and we fell asleep there for 2 and a half hours then we woke up and got up and carried on with our journey home.

And on that journey home I fell off my bike into a ditch where it took me the best part of 5 minutes to get out of while Luke rode ahead not knowing I had went into it and I had to catch up to him, after a lot of fast riding I caught up to him and he was oblivious to the fact I was missing from 5ft away for 5 minutes.

Eventually we both made it home at around 7 – 9 AM after leaving Havant (5.7 Miles) at around 3:10AM we both woke up with the worst hangovers we have ever had, I’ve never had my head thumb so badly in my life it was horrible but overall a good night and I hope this post has provided you with some much needed comedy as I have not posted in a while.

While the party was coming to an end we were rounding our friends up to leave and I went back inside alone leaving Rachel and Daizy outside to try and find Mimi and Yas and I found them and they were with some random guy who I didn’t know and I walked over and he leaned over and said “Walk away now” so I went nuts and started saying “What the fuck!” etc getting in his face and almost threw a punch and got kicked out.

Shortly after he came outside and started so I threw a punch and missed and ended up getting hit like 6 times in the ear/head by this 27 year old who was apparently Mimi’s dad’s brother. Shortly after I walked away and then some random prick called Tom kicked me in the heel really hard which put me to the floor and then I stumbled back to my feet and he did it again and I just carried on walking away.

At this point I was with Daizy and Rachel, Mimi, Yas were nowhere to be seen and not answering their phones so we just jumped in a taxi and I dropped Daizy home then I went to hospital because my thumb was hurting a lot and I could barely walk it appears nothing was broken however I did badly damage my thumb and heel so no bmxing for a while.

My instincts told me not to go out but I did anyway and look what happened haha, Oh well live and learn.

It was a little embarrassing I got mistaken for a girl from a meter away haha maybe a sign that I should get my hair cut.

The gig was funny Ash Price from Synthetic Season got his keys + laminate stolen while throwing himself into girls, met some awesome new people such as Pengiun who was buying most of my drinks all night, Lilly who gave me Bonnies vodka to drink, and Mazie who is a crazy girl who enjoys stuffing her hands in my jeans.

After the gig I chilled outside and started being mouthy and abusive towards the security as they would not let me back in to get a picture with the band members so I was getting in their way and asking them to get physical and hit me, at this point I was severely drunk and was having trouble walking.

While I was walking Amber and Mazie home I met Mike and after we walked them home we jumped fences in order to get home, walked through a cemetery where I repeatedly fell over inanimate objects injuring myself a lot, my fucking elbow hurts like a bitch.

On a side note, my love life is still horse shit and I have pretty much lost my sex drive due to lack of sex to drive it, peace love you all.

So we leave mine and I can tell he is really pissed because I tell him to be quiet going down the stairs and he falls down them 3-4 times and almost falls asleep on them.

So at this point I’m thinking he will be okay and then he gets the obvious crab walk of the drunk man and cant even walk in a straight line, by the time we get to where we were going which was Cosham which is about 2.4 miles away from my place he was throwing up and doing dumb shit like trying to break into the job center.

Now he took his shoes off while he was trying to break into the job center, which was weird so I made him put them back on and I told him to wait there while I went to take a piss and I came back and he had disappeared into thin air, I looked around for a while and couldn’t find him so I called it a night and went home like I assumed he had.

Now I get home and go to sleep and I hear the door knock and it’s Luke asking my mum if he left his shoes at my house, the poor drunken bastard took his shoes off again and has lost them. This is what you get when you cannot handle drinking pure vodka, I was next to sober and helping him stand up most of the night.