Monthly Archive for March, 2010

Knocked the fuck out

Published on March 28, 2010 | in Funny Shit | 5 Comments

Okay so last night me and my friend Tommy Tank thought we would be spontaneous and ride 6/7 miles bmxing around Portsmouth, UK. He brought a bottle of cider and I brought a rucksack full of beer, we then rode while drinking into the town center where Tommy could hunt the ” vagoo” I was more interested in drunken riding but he was interested in drunken “vagoo”.

So after a few hours of drunk chicks screaming “let me av ya bike mate” or “giv ma girlfriend a lift home on da pegs” we were looking for somewhere to stash our bags so we could ride and abuse random chavs. But when the guy asked me to give his girlfriend a lift home on the pegs I was thinking I’d give her a lift to my house on the pegs and into my bed, the chick was hot but off point (Elena is hotter<3).

So we’re looking for a spot to stash the bags and I climb through a 1ft/1ft gap in a big gate and take a piss then say we can stash them there, to my surprise a random drunk guy stumbles around the corner with his shirt ripped open with his pecks showing and stuff and he disappeared for a few seconds then another guy came and started shouting “come on then you fucking mug” and we thought it was just his mate messing around and to our surprise the muscular guy floors him with one punch and you hear the smack of his head on the floor.

The guy doesn’t even get one punch in, he gets back up and the guy floors him again but this time he didn’t get up for 10 minutes while his mates were all there calling ambulances, the funny thing is the guy who smacked him went to check if he had killed him or not. What’s even more funny all this guys mates waited like 10 minutes after he walked off before they started slagging him off saying they were going to knock him out and stuff and hitting fences to ultimately justify their loss since it was this 1 muscular guy and 5 chavs and they still didn’t want it.

Then this one kid kept running after him saying he was going to “bang him out” which is possibly some kind of gay gesture to have anal with the muscular guy perhaps, but needless to say this guy came running back saying let’s go do him and the same old macho overblown ego bullshit. Eventually when the guy comes around and starts to wake up he tries to stand up and his legs go like a baby giraffe and all his mates are saying “lets go kick fuck outta him” and this guy cant even walk let alone throw a punch to the guy who just went Mike Tyson on his ass.

We eventually went back to my house at around 6/7 AM and had a curry and can of Fosters for breakfast before Tommy left, funny night because I have never seen someone get floored like that it really was a special moment for me.

When the cops come…

Published on March 22, 2010 | in Police Shit | 0 Comments

All I hear is whop whop whop! My friend Mike just got arrested for assault in my place while we were drinking beer and Cactus Jack’s.

Not too sure on the details right now but I should be acting as his appropriate adult in a few hours, I owe him since he came to hospital with me on my birthday a couple of years ago so I shall go bail him out soon.

Death by Mephedrone

Published on March 19, 2010 | in Drug Shit | 1 Comment

Teachers may now confiscate Mephedrone or MMCAT from pupils although its not illegal yet, the school minister has said it was feared that teachers were unable to seize the drug and other legal highs under the existing law.

But schools minister Vernon Cloaker has written to every school in England telling them they can seize the drugs under existing rules. Mephedrone has been linked to the deaths of Louis Wainwright who was 18 and Nicholas Smirth who was 19 both in Scunthorpe, United Kingdom.

In the letter, Mr Coaker said the law has given teachers the power to confiscate all innapropriate items irrespective of their legal status. Schools are now under no obligation to turn the confiscated substances.

The government’s drug advisory body is to present its guidance on Mephedrone or MMCAT on March 29th so I cannot see this drug being legal for much longer. They have become worried because the drug is legal and children as young as 12 are trying it.

Mephedrone has become popular on the UK club scene and in recent months and has been said to have similar effects to ecstasy and MDMA. The two teenagers who died were found collapsed at their homes after a night out drinking in Scunthorpe, United Kingdom.

Humberside Police said the drug appeared to have contributed to their deaths. I advise anyone thinking of trying this shit to stay well clear of it.

Please Get A Life

Published on March 19, 2010 | in Angry Shit | 3 Comments

I’ve not made many posts recently but I am now 18, didn’t do much for my 18th birthday went to the pub with a few friends then went to his house and walked around the streets drinking and doing stupid shit. Made a few thousand this week so that’s good but other than that I am unhappy.

For several reasons which are as follows…

My friend seems to have got it into his head that him and his girlfriend can have a baby which is already on the way at 17 while completely living off of the government. He has no qualifications, no job, and no education and he seems to think he can fish off of a pier to support his family.

This only offends me as a future tax payer, why should I pay for someone to live off of the land doing fuck all for the country, it really really angers me to watch him sit there and say that.

The girl situation isn’t helping, there is a girl I like a lot but there are doubts. She is amazing in every aspect and is completely unaware of it but she is quite far away I don’t know what to do.

On a side note 2 people in the same week have died from taking Mephedrone, or also known as MMCAT. My suspicions were as predicted this drug is fucking dangerous and will be banned any day now and then the trouble starts because people have kilo’s of this shit lying around.

Have not been going to college much and have a lot of work to catch up on, really waiting for my big break to make 10,000+ per month so I can quit college and focus on my life goal of being rich.

In terms of the living off of the government thing I spoke about before, I think anyone who lives off the government for more than 3 months should have all their benefits stopped dead. May be a little harsh but they are in control of themselves no one is making them be spongers their whole life.

And a behavioral note all people living off the government seem to all be drug users, pretty much 98% of them are and it just makes me fucking angry to know that money in the UK that could be used to stop crime and shit is being used on sponging bastards that have no intention of getting a job ever, note to all those who do it that are reading this now, get a fucking job and sort your fucking life out.

Oh and I also got a tattoo of a star on my left butt cheek, shit hurt.

Elena Is Pretty

Published on March 14, 2010 | in Random Shit | 1 Comment

Dear Elena,

You are absolutely beautiful, please proceed to sit on my penis where indicated.

Kind Regards,

Jerryactric John aka Priddy Boy
Director of The Internet

Get Money Hoe (g$h)

Published on March 13, 2010 | in Money Shit | 2 Comments

Okay I have not posted in a while because I have been a very busy blackhat internet markter making lots of money, I have made over $1,000 this week alone and am feeling rather happy that I can once again do what I want to do without having to worry about money.

I intended on going to see an awesome girl called Elena from London at some point which I shall do, she kept nagging about me posting about her so here you go, a post for you haha.

On a side note I’m 18 in 2 days so I shall also have no ties in terms of age so I can go partying, do whatever comes into my head. Been drinking a lot lately I believe it might be my elixir for making money, or not but whatever.

I have also bought tickets to see Brokencyde and Jeffrie Star play at Wedgewood Rooms in Portsmouth on April 15th so that should be boss, lots of scene girls for me to sexually harass.

Chav Scum

Published on March 8, 2010 | in Angry Shit | 1 Comment

I’ve been watching a lot of episodes of road wars which features a lot of chavs stealing cars, beating people up, wielding knives. The usual kind of shit you would expect a delinquent chav to get up to. And seeing them do this shit makes me rage so hard, I mean just looking at them makes me want to run over and drop kick them in the face for being so fucking stupid.

In my town some prick called Dean Heard called up a 77 year old woman and posed as her grandson to get her to come out late in the night to a very bad area of Portsmouth here is the chat transcript on the phone:

Heard: Hello.
Mrs Blake: Is that Jamie?
Heard: Jamie, yeah this is.
Mrs Blake: What’s the matter then?
Heard: I’ve got a bit of a problem at the moment.
Mrs Blake: Have you darling? What is it?
Heard: Will you be able to lend me some money?
Mrs Blake: Course I will.
Heard: All right. Will you be able to meet me later?
Mrs Blake: Meet you tonight? What? It’s late now.
Heard: Yeah, I know, I am sorry but…
Mrs Blake: That’s all right. Where are you anyway?
Heard: I’m in Court Street. Can you come and meet me?
Mrs Blake: I don’t know sweetheart. I thought you’d come up to me, to my flat.
Heard: Umm, can we meet somewhere near?
Mrs Blake: What’s the matter then? Can’t you get to my flat?
Heard: Not really.
Mrs Blake: What’s the matter then? Tell me what the matter is ‘cos I shall only worry.
Heard: It’s a bit hard to explain at the moment. I’ve got myself in a bit of trouble.
Mrs Blake: I can’t darling, I can’t come out in the dark. The only thing I can do is ring for a taxi or something and come and meet you. Are you hurt?
Heard: Yes sort of.
Mrs Blake: Oh!
Heard: I’m round my friend’s house at the moment I think… (inaudible)
Mrs Blake: Yeah course I will

And when he snatched her bag he took the old lady down and she hit her head on the floor and cut her hands up, this fucking coward is one of many reasons why I hate chavs with a passion.

I would curb stomp this chav piece of shit if I saw him in the street as would several of my peers, my Mum is 65 and this could of been her and if it was this guy would have got more than 18 months he would have got severely beaten to death or near.

The sentence this prick got was 3 years but he will only serve 18 months if he has good behavior inside, I hope he gets raped. You can join the Facebook group related to this incident here, feel free to express your hate for this little fucker in a comment below or anyone alike.

War In Progress

Published on March 8, 2010 | in Funny Shit | 0 Comments


Okay so day two of trying to win over the girl I want, things don’t seem to be improving yet so I shall go see her soon and perhaps then I will have a better advantage of getting her. On a side note my 3 friends are college thought it would be fun to piss me off and leave me 500+ posts on my wall on Facebook but now I’m laughing because 2 of their accounts have been deleted by Facebook for spam so unlucky guys.

Additionally I have got my ID ready for when I’m 18 on the 15th so I can go out and get absolutely legless, and buy anything I want.

The War Is On

Published on March 6, 2010 | in Girl Shit | 2 Comments

So I have not made many posts recently possibly due to the fact I’ve done pretty much nothing, but this seemed worthy of my blog so it is as follows. I got talking to a real nice girl called Jess who I decided I would like to meet and make her my girlfriend, now all was going well.

Without going into too much detail the odds were on my side, now then this guy called Chris came into the picture and she stopped messaging me, flirting, etc. So I ask her why she has suddenly stopped etc and she says it would not work between us because of the distance, it’s only 10 miles I mean I ride double that when I want to go trail riding.

And if I were to take the quicker way and just get the ferry over it would be around 5 miles, I mean he may be closer but where is the logic in starting with someone and seeming adamant that you are interested in them, then very swiftly changing your path just because the other guy is closer.

Perhaps I have not been doing as much research on the female mind as I normally do and have lost my touch. Any way I’m not giving up that easily I don’t care if he drives a Ferrari and looks like the fictional vampire Edward from Twilight once I set out to do something I tend not to give up until It’s completed or until I accept utter failure, but before failure I will soak the fucker in garlic & holy water and kill him.

Mephedrone Long Term Effects

Published on March 4, 2010 | in Drug Shit | 5 Comments

Mephedrone also known as MCAT, MMCAT, Mieow, Meow, Meph, 4MMc is a relatively new drug that a large majority of the United Kingdom have been playing with, however as it is such a new drug and already the fourth most used in the United Kingdom there have been no tests into it’s long-term physical and psychological effects.

First of all I wanted to show you the effects that 3 different people experienced while on Mephedrone…

REPORT 1 – 400mg – powder in capsules – 8 hours:
> Quite a clean buzz, a bit like MDMA but a little less intense
> Talkativeness
> Extremely Happy
> Breathlessness
> Wobbly eyes – they kept flicking left to right. Very strange feeling.
> After about an hour and three quarters all we wanted was more.
> No comedown

REPORT 2 – 700mg – snorted – 8 hours:
> Like doing Ecstasy for the first time
> Mild hallucinations
> Extremely horny
> Snorting it feels a bit like snorting fire
> Massive memory loss of events that happened during the 8 hours
> Nose hurt for days
> Comedown was horrible

REPORT 3 – 500mg – powder in capsules – 3 hours:
> Took it with lots of booze
> Happy feeling
> Spacey
> Energetic
> Loved up
> Comedown was pretty bad!

Continue reading ‘Mephedrone Long Term Effects’