I Am Desensitized

Being desensitized really sucks ass, if you want my advise it is as follows…

Never watch fucked up videos online of people in fights, beheading, or anything with extreme acts of death, sex, or violence because it may seem harmless at the time but once you have seen it a couple of times you start to find it amusing or entertaining to watch and that’s when you start becoming desensitized.

Those fucked up videos like two girls one cup, one guy one jar, goatse, and the rest may seem harmless to send to someone as a joke but that’s how I was desensitized these videos are fucking damaging.

My friend died in an accident on a railway track at the age of 14 and I went to his funeral and all my friends who also knew him were crying and I didn’t shed a single tear, not until I got home after the wake really drunk.

It’s that bad that when I saw someone get a pint glass stuffed in their face outside a pub I just stood and watched with a vacant expression on my face and then almost got jumped by his girlfriend who said ” What the fuck are you looking at? “.

And then 10 minutes later we saw some guy get jumped a few roads down and he had 3 guys stamping on his face and he had blood coming out of his eyes and ears and same reaction to that incident no feelings what so ever.

Even the simplest feelings such as love are now entirely absent that’s why I find it extremely hard to stay with a girl and that’s why I fool around with a lot of girls, not because I want to but because it’s my only option trying only goes so far without substance.