Me, Mike, Sam, Joski and Emily all went swimming together down the beach and had a good laugh, Sam was throwing stones at people and being hilarious as per usual.
Then everyone slowly started to leave as the evening went on and then me and Mike left the beach and went to the town center park to relax and 4 girls on bikes came over and said have you seen a black kid on a bike hes 5 years old, and Mike said what’s a black kid doing on a bike and we just both burst into laughter and then the girls starting going mental at us.
They were blabbing on about us laughing about what Mike said saying they were going to stamp on our faces, the chick must have been about 10 I swear, anyway fair point is why are 4 white girls looking for a 5 year old black kid on a bike.
To be honest I think they were all out with him and they lost him, so ultimately those annoying girls with an attitude problem talking smack at us caused the situation at hand.
One of them came over and pushed one of my bikes over shouting ” it aint fukin funi iz it ” I just could not stop laughing, eventually I was just like ” go away…? ” and eventually they left and continued their quest to find said missing 5 year old black kid.
I wonder how much gold and exp they will get for that quest.
Someone who follows me or who is a friend of mine on Myspace has been feeding my Mum information about what I post about and shit, it’s fucking disgusting because I put this blog up and my Twitter to let my fans know whats going on in my life but now I can’t go into full detail because someone is a fucking snitch.
Haven’t been doing much lately but there has been a lot of drama, Did go bmxing with Tommy Tank in Southsea on Thursday night which was a laugh they were handing out glow sticks so we put them in our wheels and it looked pretty dope. We also met a new bmxer named Rob who has the same frame as Tommy Tank and ironically that’s how they met haha.
I’m still with Emily and think I will be for a long time to come, Got told by college I cannot progress onto level 3 IT so now I have to find another course to do perhaps Graphics or I’ve heard there is a CSI course at my college so I might try to get onto that too.
So I went to a house party last night which was a re-do of the last one which the chavs ruined and it was pretty fun met some new people and went nuts to dubstep and rock. This guy came and he had got hit by 3 chavs just outside the party so we got 5 of us and went looking for them and one of the people who came thought he would punch some guys Land Rover Wing Mirror which cut the shit out of his hand.
We then gave up looking for them and went back inside where the guy just bled everywhere and then he started trying to start fights with people inside the party so we threw him out and told him to go home because he was wasted and bleeding all over then outside he was shouting ” I’ll fight everyone here ” and this is at a house party with about 30 guys at so he would have got killed.
After that I got so drunk I could not walk in a straight line I kept getting ran over by parked cars and getting pushed into the various walls on the way to the pub where I got a taxi home from.
On a side note, I hate my fucking life.
Okay so today was one of those days that stand out from every other day you go out and have fun, It started like a normal day I got up masturbated I mean washed and went to college when I got there I found out I only had to do a test then I could go home, So I did the test and then had a missed call from my friend Tommy Tank I called him back and he wanted to get some beer and go bmxing and hangout in Southsea.
So I came home got my bag full of beer and all my other bits and bobs and met him in Town, From there we rode to Southsea where we pretty much just rode around staring at people and going past girls and saying ” WHY HELLO THAR! ” or ” HAYYY! ” it was pretty funny, We found 3 girls in bikinis on the grass and we rode to the nearest bench and Tommy Tank was saying ” OH YES LETS JUST SIT HERE WHAT A COINCIDENCE ” really loud and we were giggling and looking at them so they packed their shit up and walked away, Personally I blame Tommy Tank for his scary stalker remarks but who am I to judge.
We then found this super awesome bird which was not scared of humans it came over and I touched it, you can see a picture of this phenomenal bird below…
Shortly after we scared away 3 girls and played with the bird we went to get Daisy from her house and forced her to come out, We then rode to the nearest shop for food, Tommy had like 86p and i had like 15p and he chose a sponge and I chose a Swiss Roll and it was exact change it was so lucky.
After that we went to the pyramids and met up with Joski where some crazy trials MTB’er was doing nose manuals down a hill it was crazy, We ran into a French dude too who was doing photography over in UK and trying to learn English. We gave him and beer and he took a load of photos of us he was a cool dude. After that I started to get bored so I decided to strip down to my boxers and go in the sea, This is ats 9:30PM so it was rather cold.
After that I rode around dripping wet on my bmx showing off my wet ass to random pedestrians, Tommy Tank took like 50 pictures of me that day so I’ll try and get him to send me them at some point, So overall it was a pretty awesome day!
Recently I created 2 rumors one that Justin Bieber had contracted syphilis from an unknown girl, and one that Justin Bieber had broken his neck in a tragic car accident late at night.
It seems that these two rumors I made have hit the internet hard with over 2 million sites posting about it, pretty funny how you drop a small stone into a pond and it ripples.
On a side note I went to my friends party last night with Mike and Sam and it was good at the beginning then a bunch of chavs turned up, then they invited their friends and their friends and before we knew it there was 40 chavs that no one knew.
Eventually they broke the toilet, the washing machine, and several other things in the house eventually the only way to stop anymore damage was to call the cops and ruin the party so the owner did that and everyone got kicked out in the pouring rain and some got their beer tipped away because it was in bottles and most of the people were underage.
I have just heard from a very reliable source who works for CNN that Justin Bieber has broken his neck in a road traffic collision.
He was being driven to a local fast food restaurant last night when the collision occurred, the alleged driver James Peterson aged 34 who swove into the car Justin Bieber was in was allegedly drink driving.
I am currently getting in touch with local PD and hospitals in the area in an effort to get more information on this story as it develops so stay tuned folks.
“Jackass” star Bam Margera has been hospitalized after being attacked by a bat-wielding woman.
Cops tell me it happened at 2 AM this morning, outside Bam’s bar in West Chester, PA. There was some sort of fight, that ended when the woman allegedly hit Bam in the back of the head with a baseball bat.
The woman was arrested and charged with assault, Bam was taken to the Chester County Hospital and his condition is unknown.
Okay so I went out today with 2 bottles of 40% Sambuca to go riding to Chichester which is like 15 miles or so away but we ended up in Emsworth then rode back to Havant because Chichester was way too far to ride.
In Havant all I did was hug my buds and drink large amounts of Sambuca I fell off my bike twice, the first time I just scratched my arm but the second time I full force face planted the floor with my chin it hurt a lot.
Now I don’t remember leaving Havant and it’s a 8 mile ride home I can’t remember getting in my place or anything so in a few hours I am going to call Mike who was with me so he can tell me how the fuck I rode 8 miles home, when I woke up earlier I couldn’t walk so I honestly have no idea how I got home.
I kinda feel like I’m in the movie The Hangover aha I’ve been calling everyone trying to find out what happened and what time I left Havant and stuff like that but it’s proving difficult.
Needless to say I wont be drinking for a while and now I have drunk like 2 liters of water, milk, 4 ham rolls, 1 muffin, and 3 yogurts in an attempt to rid of this terrible affliction, anyway I must get back to my food then sleep peace I will update this post when I find out the other facts.
So tonight was rather interesting after having a great time with my girlfriend Emily me and my friend Mike ventured into town center at night to see fights and check out ladies, the night was pretty crap besides the fact we saw a guy letting the tires town on a Police van which was rather funny then went back to do it again after the Police had went to the van to see if the tires were okay.
We also ran into some guy with a mullet who claimed we both had faggy Oli Sykes hairstyles and he suggested we both get mullets, yeah okay then dude. Then as we were leaving there was 4 men all at a cash point and we were around 15 meters away and I heard someone pissing so I looked and this guy is pissing at his friend who puts his hands under his piss.
And then the guy who is pissing puts his hands under it and slaps it on his face then cups his hands and pours his own piss into his mouth gargling it before swallowing it, I can honestly say I thought it was water but then he did his jeans up and there was no water bottle to be seen you really can never predict what a crazy Scottish bastard will do.
We then rode back and played Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 till the morning, my fingers smell like vagina and I am tired laters everyone!
Okay so just now I met a guy in a similar predicament that I am in and he posted his number on 4chan so I called it and we started talking about his bad ass ferret then moved onto the other shit we started doing shots together and he had one too many and threw up on the phone.
But he is all good now and has made room for consumption of more alcoholic beverages so I’m out again to drink with this crazy bastard peace.
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